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10:00pm - February 17, 2011
EVERYONE HAS EXCUSES
    This week I was in a "bad poet" contest. Only vaguely protesting, since it's K's big thing, poetry. We (the contestants among the audience who'd been begged to enter by the real contestants, i.e., K) were given three topics to include one in the body or title of the work.

    Mine was finished in two minutes. It was not a jewel that you would want to read every day, but it was a really fantastic bad poem. (I used the phrase "like warm mucous" and the word "fart" very cutely. Only once.)

    It was not disgusting, weirdly enough, but just enough "Ew!" for it to be a bad poem. And it had a tuna melt in it, so, duh, Obviously.

    I forgot when I was writing that I'd have to read it. And somewhere, my big, bad self has developed a case of FEAR. I started shaking as soon as I'd finished writing it. I tried remembering all the singing/sinning I'd done, acting, costume-wearing times... For the love of something, I posed naked when I was 15 for a chalk drawing.

    No good. I did the "ghost" performance-- the one you don't know how to feel about because you can't hear it.

    And my poem was a finalist but not K's.

    He's been pretty mad for the past few days. I'm not the poet like he is, after all. But I didn't eat the mike, so few people could hear me except for the punchline... "It was me who farted." Sigh. It was about hipsters and awkwardness... And Dickies! If T.B. hadn't been so charming about those shots, I may not have lost the hard copy of the poem that night. And there might be proof to my awkward AWESOMENESS. EVERYONE HAS EXCUSES.

    I may start writing some of my poems on here, because I really need honest criticism not just from this structure of support and love we've built, you know who you are, you're on my FB.

    For me, utoob Derrick Brown. It freaked me out the way I could write for him, the WRITER.

    We have a similar cadence. He's better at public speaking.

I promise not to delete this complete and utter mess of too many heff...(Okay, you spell Hefeweizen without using a dictionary.) So there.

    Don't let me erase this out of embarassment, I'm silly, but I am a good writer and I need you guys to get me less tense about my poems. Please.

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