2:43 am - November 06, 2007
oh dear
Okay kids, I've let you down.
Your lady has attempted twice to finalise agreements. (I liked that description the best.).
To be real though, I've tried to end it twice noticibly. I know, please don't chastise me, although I know you will. Once a s. stutter, once in the river. Both times I know I've let you down. I am sorry.
It appears as though I'm just born like this. Pills and talks will help a bit, but my experience this summer appears to be making itself known in ever prominent and more lovely alcoholic ways.
I HATE this. I have never wanted to be this kind of troubled soul. It irritates me. I am sensible.
I would like to be truthful about some bad things.
(don't read this next part unless you're feeling okay) (know that was needlessly dramatic, but still.)
I thought it would be okay to get out of the taxi a few blocks early, one night that I had had a few drinks. We live in a safe neighborhood... (Goodness, it would be several years by the time we can afford to live here!) I walked to a block and a half and I could see our house. I didn't hear him before he hit me and knocked me down. My first thought was, oh, won't he be embarrased....
This is harder than I thought. I thought it had been enough time that I could write to you the way I usually do. Oh, hell.
I'm sorry, babies, I was a really stupid lady and now I don't know what to do, exactly.
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