2:12 pm - May 27, 2007
Again.
Man. I am suck a bleeping drama queen I can't stand myself. I think my ulcer is acting up. I am lonely, and tired, and sad.
To recap the past month: Kyle and I have broken up, gotten back together, rinse and repeat. I think there's been at least three breakups in the past month. Yes, I am an idiot. Whoever said "Hope Springs Eternal", was clearly talking about this little nitwit.
Generally the breakups have followed as such: I'm out with a girlfriend because he's put out at me. Having a relaxing time, talking about ThingsThatAreNotKyle, etc. Makes me realize that I actually do have some really great girlfriends. Kyle is also out, but drinking heavily. He begins to text nasty things. I don't respond, because it seems like a good idea to not fan the flames of what is clearly a bonfire. He accuses me of sleeping around, tells me what a terrible person I am, how he regrets ever meeting me and how I've ruined his life and made him miserable. Yeah.
Not a saint, in the slightest. Not perfect. I frequently do over-indulge; beer, assorted frosty beverages, cheese, Taco Time... I do stupid things. (Saturday, there was a conversation about how Clark Kent and Superman, are like, the same person.) But the point is, I'm not a bad person. I'm not unfaithful, never have been. And I never want to hurt Kyle, or be responsible for his unhappiness.
Wish me strength. I'm tired of feeling weak because I keep going back and giving in. Hugs, kids.
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